There is a kind of "stupid" that is learned

Lillian Katz, an American early childhood education expert, has found that many children will gradually feel incompetent in learning due to some reasons and lose self-confidence in the process of learning The feeling to others is that these children "learn more and more stupid" In fact, there is a kind of "stupid" that is learned The following three ways of education are what take away their self-confidence 1 High learning goals Some parents do not consider the development of their children's psychology and intelligence, assign learning tasks without any explanation As a result, the children never know how to learn, fail in every attempt, and rarely experience the feeling of "winning" So, needless to say, he will feel stupid 2 Early knowledge transfer In order to prevent their children from losing in the starting line, some parents of "looking forward to their children" train their young children in reading, writing and calculating too early In fact, these knowledge is not in line with the cognitive characteristics of children Although children can parrot and memorize some knowledge, they do not understand it Therefore, it does not promote the intellectual development of children, but brings them great mental pressure and reduces their interest in learning 3 Too many negative hints Psychological research has found that external speech and behavior cues have a great impact on children's psychological development Some parents' mantra is that children are "stupid", sometimes they criticize and scold them angrily; sometimes they carry forward the fine tradition of modesty, such as "my son has no brain"; sometimes it's not criticism, but nicknames, such as "little fool, can't do this" However, no matter what the original intention is, what the child receives is the information of "he is stupid" Over time, the child will have a serious sense of inferiority, start self doubt, and the subconscious will refuse new knowledge to enter the memory bank, so as to really "become stupid" Every child has different strengths from others Even if the academic performance is poor, they should not be labeled as "stupid children" Parents should know their children's weaknesses, and be good at discovering their children's strengths and potential With appreciation and encouragement, children will become confident First of all, let children often experience the joy of success When a person succeeds, the brain releases the pleasure hormone endorphin, which drives the child to repeat the experience From this perspective, success is the mother of success Therefore, when playing games, doing manual work and doing housework, children should be encouraged to try boldly and guide moderately For example, when a child participates in a hand-made competition, but the tiger is like a rabbit, the parents should not laugh or even humiliate, but guide the child to recognize the difference between the two and help to do well Second, encourage children to explore Every exploration is an opportunity to learn But don't set too high a goal for your child, but "find a shorter apple tree for your child to pick on tiptoe." Third, protect the child's interest An educator in the former Soviet Union prepared a "speaking ball" for his children He threw it down and asked questions Whoever received the ball answered Some people are puzzled and think it is unnecessary But the educator replied that without the "speaking ball", the child may not have the interest to speak Finally, allow the child to fail Developmental psychologists point out that children do not have the ability of self-evaluation, most of them rely on the attitude of others to know themselves Parents should give enough tolerance to their children's failure experience, not treat them with pity, nor scold them directly, but let them understand that everyone will encounter failure, brave and intelligent people will learn from the failure and continue to work hard.